So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
