I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
