You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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