Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
