he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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