My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
