I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
