The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
