how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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