Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
