miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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