I cockslap morals
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
