I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
they're like a gay fantastic four
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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