You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
