Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Randomize
