my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize