Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
