someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
