I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
