The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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