He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
