He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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