i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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