just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
