Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
