So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
