So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
