Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
this will be a night to untag.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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