New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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