Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
