What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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