Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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