nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
