my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The uberlube is also flammable
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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