I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
