the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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