on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
