Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
