He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
why do cheetos always look like penises
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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