I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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