I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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