do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
