You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
