We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize