Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
