my room smells like sperm. sweet.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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