I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
