i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
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