was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
