Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
