need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm gonna have a badass scar
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
