I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
no. you can't hotbox the world.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
