I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
